В одной фейсбучной беседе заговорили о старых телефонах, которые себя полностью дискредитировали, и я вспомнила, как переполнилась моя чаша терпения, когда мой любимый блекберри паспорт перестал апдейтиться от слова совсем, я не могла больше заливать в соцсети видео, да и внешний вид браузера, через который я заходила в фейсбук (официальное приложение было убито двумя годами раньше), выглядел как монстрообразное детище окончательно сбрендившего линуксоида. Помнится, тогда я написала длинный прочувствованный пост; уж коли я периодически пощу здесь свои английские тексты, то сделаю репост этой моей яростной анти-блекберри-филиппики и сюда (вместе с картинками). Пусть будет.
Самое интересное, что к айфону я при этом так толком пока что и не привыкла, и по-прежнему считаю, что камера в блекберри паспорт была одной из лучших — в отличие от всего остального.
(У меня странное чувство, что я уже делала этот репост в блоге, но поиском он не находится; мистика или наведенные воспоминания)
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Dear (not) BlackBerry!
As you probably remember (not), I have been your loyal (the level of loyalty was 200 out of 100%) customer since 2013: I had Blackberry Bold, Blackberry Z10, and currently have a BlackBerry Passport. Although my friends and family have always called me a weirdo by choosing you as my mobile supplier, I chuckled subtly and replied that “you are nice, just a bit difficult in certain ways, which could be in fact, mastered if you (I mean, me) have courage and stamina.”
I was perfectly happy with your service in 2013–2014, when you were already having lots of issues with your customers (anyway, you know this much better from your CrackBerry forum); I was not that happy anymore with you back in 2015, before purchasing my Passport from you, which looked swish and classy: by the way, Blackberry, it still looks pretty decent, I have to give you credit at least for that: apparently, you still manage somehow to keep your designers, even though everyone else ran away from you as quickly as they could. But I digress.
So, that whole Passport thing. Do you remember the time when FB cancelled their app on your device? No? How very convenient, and why am I not surprised. But whatever. After that shameful thing (well, it would have been shameful for everyone else, but not for you, because you seemingly didn’t care and still don’t) I have still kept supporting you, hoping (stupidly) that you will manage to resolve some issues with the social media platforms. I uploaded a variety of amateur looking apps with the poorest rating you could ever imagine, mostly for FB and Blogspot, but none of them have worked properly, so I eventually deleted all of them.
This spring your designers (I may call them this way, although you can insert any insult, and it still would somehow work) changed the appearance of the web-browser version of FB in my device to the point where my eyes started bleeding: if you think that it is normal to have it looking like it was the work of a miserable teen, then you achieved your result successfully. But never mind! I was still using your ghoulish machine, although I was unable to download any useful apps (for travel/shopping you name it) and was stuck pretty much in 2010.
My patience ended today.
I wanted to share with my FB friends one of the videos that I made yesterday at a certain event. I opened my additional amateur FB app (did I forget to mention that I left the clumsiest one just for uploading videos, and it sort of worked until yesterday? So I am doing it now) for uploading: no success. Zero. It expired.
Well, I decided to make a pathetic attempt to upload it through my web-browser: boy, wasn’t I stupid, of course it didn’t work.
I tried my desktop wifi: my machine didn’t see my device. I tried to connect it to Bluetooth (do you remember that funny thing from 2005? No? How lovely, but I understand, you are not obliged to remember such obsolete tutti quanti). I tried to use NFC (I know that you are not aware of that shit either, but well) and connect it to my husband’s device – still no luck.
Sometimes people call me a stubborn woman: they are partly correct, because when I am pissed off, I am indeed very stubborn. I decided to upload my stuff for whatever price it would cost me, and went to my Dropbox account.
I opened their website in your browser and began typing my passport and login. It looked smeared. It looked like I was trying to insert non-existent half-transparent things there: I believe your java script or God knows what expired a long time ago, when the universe was a bit younger.
The result: thanks to you, dear (not) Blackberry, I am deprived from all possible opportunities to make the simplest thing ever. I was cut off from all services for way too long, and today’s story became the last straw.
Dear BlackBerry, fuck you.
Wishing you go to hell asap,
Yours sincerely,
Your former customer Elena
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